ledbythewind | APPOINTMENTS POST

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APPOINTMENTS POST

This post can be used to thread with or get in contact with Richard at any point when he doesn't have a post up! Just comment here (please use the format [Action, June 24th], [Voice, March 5th], etc. to make it clear when the thread is taking place and what type of thread it is) for a thread with him; if it's a continuation of another thread or post, please link that so I remember the context of the thread.

GO NUTS.

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[She's starting to come to now. Although she's feeling pretty weak, the presence of someone beside her compels her to at least check who it is. So Pao-Lin opens her eyes halfway and glances up a little.]

...R-Richard...?

[There's a ghost of a relieved smile on his face as he sits back slightly on his heels, though that's not enough to get him to stop the healing spell he's already casting with Nala's energy.]

So you are awake. Welcome back.

[Nala's magic is helping with the odd creakiness in her bones and slight nausea scrambling her brain and stomach, but it doesn't do anything for the haze blanketing her memories of the past few weeks. It's like she's watching silent actors put on a play behind a set of curtains: she can make out general gestures through their backlit silhouettes, but she can't put faces to the terrible scenes she's witnessing. And given what she can suss out…she's not sure she wants to.

But just as Pao-Lin is about to ask Richard if he knows what happened, the curtains open and unleash the full force of her monstrous memories. Her words drown with the visions, and all she can do at the moment is clasp her hands to her mouth, eyes wide with shock.]

[Richard's first thought is that Pao-Lin's reaction is one of pain, and he immediately ceases that healing until he can determine what's wrong, not wanting to risk making anything worse. He may be able to use Nala's powers, but he's no healer like Cheria is, and he still isn't that confident in his own abilities.]

What's wrong? Where does it hurt?

[She shakes her head. It takes another few seconds before she loosens her hands enough to mumble:]

D-do you know someone named K-Kotetsu? Or Barnaby? [Gulp.] Do you know if th-they're okay?

[She's pretty sure Barnaby isn't, but Kotetsu, Kotetsu -- ]

I don't know about Barnaby, but Kotetsu is all right. I spoke to him just a few days ago.

[He's... not going to go into details, in part because he isn't sure that it's his place to be discussing something like that.]

[At this, Pao-Lin visibly relaxes. She hadn't killed him. That's one less death on her soul. Doesn't excuse Barnaby or Kazooie, though.]

D-did he...say anything about me...? ["About what I did to him and his partner?"]

[Richard just shakes his head, as casually as he can manage given the situation.]

No, and I'm afraid I didn't ask.

[He has a general idea of what happened, but... this is something that needs to be settled between them, without his involvement.]

[Pao-Lin just nods, not guessing that Richard has some idea of what happened between her and Kotetsu.]

Then, do you know what day it is?

I believe today is the 12th, though I suspect that isn't what you were expecting to hear.

[...no. It isn't.

She'd really died back there, then. Died in what seems to her now as only an exceptionally visceral nightmare.

The moment of her demise comes back to her then, but it really is only a moment -- she only sees the flash of light and then...nothing. Any pain or fear was too quick to register. Later, she'll be morbidly thankful for this, but for now she's horrified that things could have been over that quickly. If it weren't for knowing the date, she'd be wondering if it even happened.

Pao-Lin stares blankly at the ground, her hands clutched together in her lap, and lets the fact of her death bleed through her like bitter poison. Faced with the enormity of everything that's transpired, so much so fast, her entire mind is going into lockdown. She's aware that she should be saying something to Richard, like an explanation for her reactions or an apology for distracting him from his day or even a question about some of his comments, but she currently barely has enough presence of mind at the moment to keep herself breathing.]

[Richard just remains quiet in turn, sensing that it isn't really his place to be asking questions right now. If Pao-Lin wants to talk about things, she will, but for the moment pressing too much would likely be a bad idea given that her behavior makes it clear that she's still sorting through her own emotions as well.

She doesn't have to say anything; he understands, and he'll just sit there quietly for as long as she needs to piece things together. She can speak to him whenever she's ready. There's no rush as far as he's concerned.]

[Finally, Pao-Lin speaks, softly and shamefully.]

I'm sorry...you don't have to stay here with me...

[Richard just smiles, a tired, sad little thing, because he's far too familiar with the sentiments expressed in Pao-Lin's words and voice. You don't have to stop for me. I don't want to slow you down. ... I don't want to get in your way.]

I couldn't possibly leave you here all by yourself.

[She sniffles and rubs at her eyes, which are starting to burn with tears. She doesn't want to admit it, but she's relieved that he's staying. There's still something about him that reminds her of Nathan in his more serious moments, calm and steady and comforting.]

..th-thanks.

[She glances blankly off to the side, taking in the unexciting view of trees and foliage. So peaceful and innocuous, yet that was exactly where everything had gone to hell...]

...I don't...know what I should do... [What she should do first, anyway. She knows logically that apologies are in order and other things like that, but...]

[Were Pao-Lin looking at him, she would see Richard's smile falter for just the barest moment before he quickly corrects himself, though that aura of sadness still remains. That too is a feeling he knows all too well, one he himself faced after he had finally been freed from Lambda's control. And the fact is... there aren't any simple answers to something like that.]

... you can worry about that part later. Just focus on your own recovery for now-- after all, you can't exactly make up for anything you've done if you aren't well enough to do so.

...so Mr. Tiger told you what happened. [Unspoken: What I did.

She needs to know what Richard knows, so she doesn't have to waste tears or energy on retreading old ground.]

I've heard a few things, yes. Enough to figure it out for myself.

[But there's no judgment in his tone. How could there be, when he himself was ready to eliminate humanity in his own world-- would have done so if Asbel and the others hadn't gotten in his way?]

[Pao-Lin's not always the best with reading others' intentions and emotions, so she's not entirely sure what she thinks she's hearing from Richard right now. He sounds neutral enough, yes, but could he just be really good at hiding his contempt for her? Or is this just paranoia bred out of a false self and lingering guilt?]

P-please don't tell anyone...okay?

[She'd been hoping that the knowledge of this utter mess would be limited to just Kotetsu, Barnaby, and Kazooie, but she supposes that with how badly she'd hurt Kotetsu, he would've had to go to the clinic for help and explained what happened.]

[Sensing that she may have misinterpreted his words, he just gives her a soft smile in an attempt to reassure her. He knows he's bad at comforting, but hopefully this will at least help somewhat.]

I give you my word. I think this is something that you should explain for yourself, whenever you're ready to do so.

D-do you think I should? Tell someone, that is?

[She will tell at least one person, eventually. But right now she just wants to bury all of this and forget it ever happened. Things might not technically be her fault, but she's still at the center of it. She's the reason it all happened.]

Do you think you should?

[Because, when it comes down to it, this is a decision that only she can make. Pushing her into it would do more harm than good if she isn't ready.]

[Pao-Lin lowers her gaze to the ground again, her shoulders hunching as she tries to think about her answer to this question.]

...I don't know. I mean, I g-guess I have to explain to people why I've been gone, but... [She could always just lie about it. She hates the idea of it, but...it might be better in the long run.]

[Richard gives a slight shake of his head, expression gentle yet distant. In the end, he'd chosen to own up to his deeds, in part because it hadn't really been a choice at all. But this is all up to her.]

Whatever you choose to do, it should be a choice that you make for yourself, not something that you do because someone else said you should.

[Richard's words don't necessarily illuminate Pao-Lin's path for her any better than before. But they give her enough strength to push forward through the darkness.]

O-okay. [She heaves a deep sigh.] I guess I'll figure something out eventually... [Her tone of voice makes it sound like she doesn't really believe that, though.]

APPOINTMENTS POST

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