[Written/Action]

[ledbythewind]

[The handwriting for this particular entry is far neater than what is usually seen in the journals: a strong, tidy hand, though it may look rather unusual to anyone not from Efinea.

He'd almost filtered it before realizing that doing so would be going against what he was working on at the moment, so instead he leaves it open to be seen by all.]

To those of you who have ever sought a way to stop something you weren't always aware you were doing, how did you go about doing so? More specifically, I would like suggestions on how to be more honest, both with myself and with others.

[Richard hasn't been spending much time at home lately, so today, like most of the days before it, he'll be out for a walk in the snow, seemingly lost in thought as he just wanders through the village and out a ways into the forest before heading back once it starts to get dark. He'll pause outside of House 28, though, lingering for a moment as if deciding whether or not to knock on the door. The residents there might catch him doing so; he's not being very subtle about it.

Later that evening, housemates will find him fast asleep on the couch, a book open in his lap and a cup of tea going cold on the side table. He might be starting to tilt over, too...]

Comments

[action]

[causeblocked.livejournal.com]

[Don't worry, Richard. Isamu will only watch you for a moment or two before getting you back up on the cushions properly.

With his foot.]

[action]

[ledbythewind]

[Unfortunately, Richard does not take very kindly to being shoved around in his sleep and jerks awake like a startled rabbit, wide eyes searching the room for whoever it is who is touching him.]

[action]

[causeblocked.livejournal.com]

Just saved you from waking up with a bump on the noggin', Richie. You can thank me later.

[voice]

[bearingevil.livejournal.com]

Well, you know you're doing it now, right? So stop doing it.

[Sano logic.]

[voice]

[ledbythewind]

I know I'm doing it, but I don't always know when I'm doing it. That's why I was asking for help.

[voice]

[bearingevil.livejournal.com]

Well, then you need to figure out when you're doing it. It can't be that hard to know when you're lying to others.

[action]

[ayu_nee]

[While she saw the note earlier, Ayumu wasn't about to respond to it - giving someone else advice on how to be honest would be more than a little bit hypocritical, so she didn't bother. Still, it left her in a bit of a pensive mood in turn, and she went out for a walk as well. Certain things are just weighing heavily on her, especially since Susumu's disappearance.

As such, she notices Richard's presence just as she notices, calculates, and categorizes everyone she ever encounters, but she only gives a distant, polite nod without really paying too much conscious attention to him. He isn't anyone that she had particularly sought to deal with, nor a potential contact, but he's heading back into the village as she's going toward the outskirts.]

[action]

[ledbythewind]

[Fortunately or unfortunately for her, Richard is too polite to just walk past someone without any sort of greeting, especially someone who had greeted him in turn, even if it was only with a sort of perfunctory nod. And, whether he'll admit to it or not, he's feeling kind of lonely right now, so he's not about to turn down a chance at company. Just being able to talk to someone will help.]

Good afternoon.

[action]

[ayu_nee]

[The voice recalls her to herself and Ayumu glances up, blinking once as she pushes a friendly smile into place.]

Oh... oh, hello! I beg your pardon, my mind must have been elsewhere.

[Written]

[no-use-running.livejournal.com]

[These are subjects dear to her heart after her experiences with the Dark Kingdom, turned inside-out so that all her resentments and petty angers were what drove her completely.

If she could have been honest with herself, maybe she could have stopped those things before they grew so large. The handwriting that tries to express this without saying too much is neat, tidy, efficient - with the occasional flowery loop here or there.]

I think, for me, it helped when friends brought those things to my attention. [Osaka Naru calling her out for her passiveness and telling her to just admit the things she really wanted.]

But also, if I can't be honest with myself, I may end up doing things I'll regret.

[Not very helpful as it boils down to 'remember how important that honesty is', but it's her thoughts on the subject.]

[Written]

[ledbythewind]

[If only Richard knew how alike the two of them were... he too had had his insecurities preyed on, used to manipulate him into nearly destroying the world entirely, all as a means of getting rid of the humans who had caused him so much pain.]

That was how I first learned about it-- someone dear to me told me to stop holding things back. Before that, I hadn't even been aware that I was doing so. I'm afraid that I've already done things that I regret as a result.

Re: [Written]

[no-use-running.livejournal.com]

[She did everything she could to get back at them for the loneliness and abandonment she'd thought they made her feel. She even almost killed her best friend; she'd thought she was dead, which finally broke the spell in that shock.]

I think it's hard to be that open. But holding back didn't do anything good, either. So I try to speak up more.

[Action]

[drawnbythesword]

[Asbel was just preparing to head out for a bit of sword practice. So he opens the door of his house, scabbard in hand, when he spots Richard standing there, as if to knock.]

...Richard?

[Action]

[ledbythewind]

[... busted. Don't mind him just standing there blankly for a moment while his neurons try to fire enough to come up with a response.]

Asbel...

[Action]

[drawnbythesword]

[He stares at Richard for a moment. Normally the man at least sends some sort of notice he's coming, so to see him suddenly standing as his doorstep is slightly jarring.]

Is... something the matter?

[Action]

[forsurvival.livejournal.com]

[As Richard lingers on the porch, he may notice a familiar face appearing behind one of the windows. Lambda's watching him, waiting to see what he'll do.]

[Action]

[ledbythewind]

[Richard catches sight of that face and gives him a tired smile in greeting, but it's pretty easy to see through it.]

[voice]

[godbent]

[...Dammit, she relates to this too much. It makes her uncomfortable. She was almost tempted to response for that, but- But that's too hard to instead she comments on the other thing that caught her attention]

What's with that handwriting?

[voice]

[ledbythewind]

Is it really that unusual?

[pimpinwings.livejournal.com]

Friends who're good on calling you out on it help.

[ledbythewind]

That would actually be what prompted this musing in the first place.

[Written]

[returninghope.livejournal.com]

First of all, you're going to have to learn to recognize whenever you're doing this. You're going to have to force yourself to stop, step back, and think about what it is you're you're actually saying and doing, and if it's truly what you're feeling. Perhaps all the time. Since this is honesty we're talking about, the only one that's going to be able to truly tell when you're lying, is you.

[Written] LJ why did you eat this the first time

[ledbythewind]

[Were Richard aware of that change in handwriting he would undoubtedly be grateful-- ironic, considering the strange style of his own handwriting that was challenging for others to read. But as it is, he reads the message carefully before responding in his own neat script:]

I think the process of learning to tell when I am not being completely honest will be perhaps the most difficult part. I often say things without ever considering whether or not they are my true feelings; you're right, I'm going to need to start thinking before I speak where matters such as that are concerned.

[action]

[denyingreasons.livejournal.com]

[Even later in the evening, Naoki will come trundling down from upstairs, looking sleep-rumpled and plainly exhausted. He's been trying to regain his lost hours of sleep during the day--to limited success, unfortunately. He's mumbling to himself, trying to wake up proper while intending to head to the kitchen to get a cup of tea.]

[action]

[ledbythewind]

[Richard is still semi-dozing on the couch-- he'll tilt forward somewhat, enough to startle him slightly awake, then he'll readjust his position on the couch before beginning to doze and repeating the cycle all over again. It's pretty clear he hasn't been doing much better in the sleep department than Naoki has.

On one such jerk awake, he glances blearily around the room, his eyes falling upon Naoki as he makes his way to the kitchen. He opens his mouth the tiniest bit, as if going to say something...

... give him a moment for his brain to finish starting up here.]