[Written/Action]

[ledbythewind]

[It takes Richard a few days after the end of the experiment to regain his mental equilibrium. There are experiments and then there are experiments, and this one definitely fell into the latter category. However, being turned into a child again had brought back vivid memories of the last time that had happened here, and with it a realization that he can't - no, shouldn't - keep putting things off any longer. He's going to make good on his word.

But he barely gets three words into his message before he realizes that something is terribly wrong with the filter, and with a sudden sick feeling in his stomach, he knows the only thing it can mean.

He's gone... again.

It's a few long moments before he can do anything beyond just stare blankly at the journal, still trying to process this. No... it can't be... this isn't fair... Not after he'd finally gotten the second chance he'd never thought he'd have to apologize, for Naoki to disappear before they ever got that chance... this time it might be forever and Richard knows that all too well. He's not sure whether he wants to scream or cry, but what frightens him the most is the fact that he's not sure if he even can. He just feels numb, empty, the same way he did after his father's death. So many people have been returned home in such a short time...

Once again, it's duty that finally stirs him to action. Naoki had friends here; they deserve to know about this. That's why he'll take the pen and write a single, simple sentence in handwriting that isn't as practiced and elegant as it usually is:]


Naoki Kashima has returned home to the world he restored.

[That's it. That's all he can manage. He knows he's being selfish; this is what's best for Naoki. Naoki deserves to be back at home to live his life in the world he saved. But he still... he never even got to see Naoki face-to-face this time, and it hurts. Perhaps what hurts the most is all of the things he never got to say.

That done, he makes his way to the Battle Dome, where he sets up a scenario full of Nova monsters. He knows he's outgunned there and he doesn't even care-- he'll just continue to fight them blindly, unleash all of what he's feeling right now on them, until at last the scenario auto-aborts for his own safety and leaves him to sink down to his knees, breathing hard.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, he forces himself to his feet and makes his way back towards House 28, face almost frighteningly expressionless, but eyes anything but.]

Comments

[ledbythewind]

[Isamu's effort is kind, and were Richard in a better state of mind he'd appreciate it, but for the moment he's just going to attempt to make a beeline for his bedroom without even stopping to talk to anyone.

If Isamu wants to talk, he's going to have to catch Richard.]

[musubi]

[Isamu gets up from where he's sitting, sticking his hands in his pockets.]

You're not gonna pass me up without saying anything, are you?

[ledbythewind]

[While Richard does pause in his walking, he doesn't turn to face Isamu, nor does he say anything. He's not sure what TO say-- Naoki is Isamu's best friend, so surely this must be hitting him even harder after they finally got the chance to see each other again.]

[musubi]

Good.

[He sounds tired, and not really in the mood for Richard's stubbornness.]

Now about-face.

[ledbythewind]

[And about-face he does, but still he remains silent. Right now, the look in his eyes says everything, even though his face is still expressionless, albeit strained.]

[musubi]

[Isamu walks up to him and pulls him into a hug without a word.]

[ledbythewind]

[Under normal circumstances, Richard would hug back quite enthusiastically. Now, however, he makes no move to return the gesture, though he isn't pushing away either. Instead, he just stands there and lets Isamu hug him.]

[musubi]

[Isamu notices that, but doesn't force it.]

...I'm sorry.

[ledbythewind]

It's not your fault.

[It's more automatic than anything else at this point, his voice just tired.]

[musubi]

I know it isn't. At least that isn't.

We... haven't talked much since the whole experiment thing either.

[ledbythewind]

I don't blame you for that either. You weren't exactly yourself at the time.

[Even if Isamu had killed him, he would just have returned in a week. If Isamu needed his energy that badly, then... he didn't really mind.]

[musubi]

I don't know if I could have drained someone to the point of death, but I'm glad I didn't.

[He squeezes Richard a little tighter.]

I made dinner for you. I want you to come sit with me.

[ledbythewind]

I...

[He doesn't have any appetite at the moment and he's not sure that trying to force himself to eat would be a good idea. But at the same time, there's a part of him that really doesn't want to be alone either.]

[musubi]

I know you're not hungry. You're never hungry. Just come try, okay?

[ledbythewind]

[At last Richard gives a silent nod, and if Isamu leads the way out to the kitchen he'll follow without any protest.]

[musubi]

[Isamu takes his friend by the hand just to make sure.

It's not much - instant mashed potatoes and a light gravy. Easy to keep down. He sits Richard in front of the bowl and hands him a spoon before taking a seat himself.]

Should still be warm.

[ledbythewind]

[Richard sits there staring at it for a few long moments, as if trying to muster up any sort of appetite or desire to eat. Oh, there's no doubt that it looks and smells good, but right now he just isn't hungry; how good it does or doesn't seem doesn't mean anything to him.

Finally he takes a few half-hearted bites and chokes them down, then just pauses, spoon hovering a few inches above the bowl.]

[musubi]

Something wrong?

[It isn't as if Isamu has been watching him carefully or anything...]

[ledbythewind]

No, it's just...

[And he'll try again, managing a few more bites before he stops.]

[musubi]

It's just... what?

I can reheat it if it's gone cold.

[He knows this isn't the issue, but he felt he should say it anyway.]

[ledbythewind]

[Richard just shakes his head.]

Thank you, but I'm afraid that's not the problem.

[musubi]

Well... tell me.

[ledbythewind]

[Now he hesitates, eyes still fixed on the table. It isn't entirely that he doesn't want to talk about it (although he doesn't, because sharing too much of himself with anyone else makes him uncomfortable), but also that he just plain doesn't know how. Sure, he talks to Asbel about things like that sometimes, but it's still usually Asbel telling Richard what he's feeling and asking for advice, not the other way around.

When it comes down to it... Richard still doesn't know how to interact with others on an emotional level.]

[musubi]

You don't have to lay your heart out on the table. I just wanna be able to, you know, lend you a shoulder if you need it.

[ledbythewind]

[He inhales, then exhales slowly in an attempt to steady himself.]

... I never even got to see him in person. We only spoke twice-- we'd agreed to have a discussion, but when I went to filter a message to him...